Shooting Star's What the elders REALLY do up there
by twohalfbreedsandahomo
Summary: Ever wandered what the elders really do while they're up there? well here's what i was told by a very reliable source...!


Shooting Star  
  
Hi there!!! you probably have no idea who I am nor who my fellow confederates are because we only have stories on btvs posted so far. If you want to know more about us (which you will by the time this fic is over!) search for our name (twohalfbreedsandahomo) and read our bio. Even if you do not like or agree with what I write, I ask you to please review. You can write whatever you want and you can even do it anonymously!! For you who want to know more, here's a low-down – we are three sick sick people who enjoy writing weird and twisted fictions about our favourite T.V. shows. We also write bizarre things about absolutely anything and post it on random sites!! Got it? Ok then!!  
  
"Hey Piper, hey Leo." Phoebe said as she entered the living room of the manor.  
  
They seemed to be having an argument and so she quietly backed out of the room. She didn't think that they'd even noticed her come home anyway.  
  
They hadn't.  
  
"Leo! How are we supposed to be making our marriage work if you have to go and be an elder all the time?"  
  
"Piper, its my job. Its my destiny. I have to go. There could be something seriously wrong. You never know, there could be a threat on the boys lives."  
  
With a small nod and a huff from his wife, Leo orbed out of the house and up through the clouds to the rest of the elders...  
  
"Sup Leo?" A random elder said as he reached into the cooler at his side.  
  
"Not much. The wife's been givin me shit about always disappearing up here. Why'd you summon me anyway?" He said as he sat in the reclining chair next to his friend.  
  
"Well, I thought you might want to join us tonight. We're peeking in on the women's locker room of the magic school. Those teens are haych oh tee tee hot!!" He handed Leo a beer from the cooler. "Oh and there's a newbie joining and were going to initiate him later. I thought you might want to watch."  
  
"Oh yeah!! Sounds like a good night. I'm so there."  
  
With that, some of the other elders walked in and grabbed a beer. They each removed their robes and replaced them with matching leather jackets with 'Elders Rock' written on the back in silver. Leo grabbed his jacket and followed the rest of them as they headed to a large room with a huge projection screen on the back. An elder waved his hand over the screen and the green tiles of the locker room walls came into view.  
  
"Oh dude is that Paige?" One of the elders asked as the pale skinned brunette appeared on the screen stripping down to her underwear.  
  
"Oh man I'd like a piece of that." Another added. "Do they ever play in their underwear in the morning or have pillow fights in their pj's?"  
  
"No but I know what you mean," Leo said as he took a sip of the beer in his hand. "I walked in on Phoebe and Paige in the shower together the other day and wow mama! Piper wandered what was in me when I went back to our room and banged the life out of her while imagining her sisters."  
  
"Oh wow. You have the best job. All my charges ever did was give me blow jobs."  
  
"I know. I couldn't get any of mine either. They find the whole Angel thing all sacred and weird."  
  
"Yeah me too..." A few other elders muttered as they began to get into the images appearing on the screen. Paige had been joined by several other members of staff who were dabbing each other down with towels to dry off after a shower.  
  
They sat like this for a few hours until all of the female staff had gone home.  
  
"Yes! The women are gone now. How about we look in on the men's locker room now?" Leo said as the others turned to look at him. "What?" He asked as he looked around at his fellow angels. Seeing their freaked out faces, Leo decided that they were not ready to find out his bisexual secrets so he quickly laughed it off. "I was joking guys! You should have seen your faces!"  
  
They then decided that it was time to get on with the main agenda of the evening. A few of them disappeared an reappeared with a blindfolded young whitelighter.  
  
"Erm sirs?... What's going on?" The confused future elder asked.  
  
"Your initiation." An older elder said as he sniggered to himself.  
  
"My what?"  
  
"Your initiation. You have to do a few things before we allow you to enter our fold."  
  
They removed his blindfold and he looked around him. He was a small boyish looking whitelighter with blonde hair. His sea blue eyes looked around nervously.  
  
"What's your name son?" Leo asked in his best superior elder voice.  
  
"Julian. Julian Sark." He answered.  
  
There was a tiny cherry on the floor and a small glass of beer a few meters away and random objects put in between them.  
  
"Ok then Sark... you don't mind me calling you that do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Ok then Sark. What you have to do is pick up the cherry with your but cheeks and do the assault course dropping the cherry in the glass of beer. Then you have to down the beer and eat the cherry."  
  
"W...w...what?" The confused young man asked in horror as he saw the seriousness on the other elder's faces.  
  
"You heard. Were elders boy and we do not like to repeat ourselves."  
  
Julian Sark walked over to the cherry and attempted to bend down and grasp it in between his butt cheeks.  
  
"NO, no, no. I don't quite think you understand me.... Naked."  
  
The young boy ignored the look of lust on Leo's face and began to undress. He picked up the cherry in his ass and continued over the chair, around the fortress of robes and under the table. When he reached the glass he dropped the cherry into it and sat down exhausted.  
  
"Now drink."  
  
He picked up the glass and guzzled down the contents chewing on the cherry.  
  
The rest of the elders cheered and handed the young man a leather jacket. He smiled with glee as he saw it matched the ones they were wearing and he knew that he was now well and truly an elder.  
  
Wait until I report this back to the covenant... I'm an elder...  
  
TBC  
  
You probably don't understand the ending if you don't watch Alias but basically the covenant are an evil organised crime syndicate with agents everywhere, even in the CIA... so watch out Leo!! 


End file.
